about last night...
Here's the scene:
The weekend before Halloween. New York City. Chinatown. Former speakeasy now groovey lounge. Pouring rain. Steamy. Excellent music. Dark. Super packed. Right around midnight....
This is what I'm thinking from behind the bar...
Where in a girls mind is it ok to get completely trashed in an unflattering halloween costume and puke in public? In a bar. A very crowded bar? I mean while she was getting dressed up in her silly, unflattering get up did she think Wow, wouldn't it be fun, since I'm in costume, to get completely half cocked and puke in public tonight in front of all of my friends. Or was it more like Well at least no one will recognize me this time!
Girls, come on, this is the jungle...didn't you see Mean Girls? I mean this is not ok to do in public. You really won't get the guy. Plus what were you thinking wearing that ridiculous silver Hershey's Kiss get up. I mean, you definitely won't get the guy....FOR SURE. 100% GUARANTEED. It's cute on a 5 year old. Not on a 20 something. jeez.
Random thoughts in a sea of people:
When did 20 somethings start ordering vodka with water? oh, make that a double vodka with water. I mean, I'm really good at this bartending but wtf?? Can we spell r-e-t-a-r.....No can we spell AA? It felt like rehab gone bad last night!
Fellas, you're not off the hook....
I know, I know, you and your 3 friends are having a SUPER good time but instead of closing out your bill you order a bottle of red wine after the 3 bottles of champagne, 10 shots of patron, and a couple of g & t's to boot...a bottle of red wine? Really? hmmm. questionable choice. Oh and by the way, really nice hiding the teeth grinding. I never, ever would have pegged you to be the blow type. You may want to go to the dentist when you recover from last night. Hold on a word comes to mind PATHETIC!! and you weren't getting the Hershey's Kiss girl either...she was puking last time I checked. But man, how dehydrated were you? You were sucking down that water in record time. I'm just thinking like you may want to have a friend do a little documentary style video of you next time you go out. I'm not kidding...I'm totally serious. You looked f****d up. No, not in a good way. Like in a 28 days kind of way. And No the tip really has no bearing on how you looked. Actually that 30% tip made you look a little bit like a loser. Sorry.
Note to Halloween goers - don't paint your face green when you are going to a downtown bar that is really, really dark. HELLO, I CAN'T SEE YOU. and you look green. Next...who needs a shot!
If you haven't been on the cute team before... wear a great platinum blonde wig and dark clothes. Maybe some false eyelashes. Red lipstick. The guys have done so many shots that they have forgotten why everyone is dressed up and they just think you look hot. Strange, but it seems to work every time...
If you have been on the cute team your whole life...wear something hot and have a great time...you're gonna be a hit. Everyone is so uncomfortable and insecure about their dorky costumes that they will all gravitate toward you and bonus all the guys will be around you. JUST DON'T PUKE...
The busier I get the more time I have to let my mind wander about things... Like the girl with ROLLER SKATES on? ok. You lost me there. Rain= slippery floor, Crowded bar = no skating, Drinking massive quantities of lemondrop shots = very messy. Oh uh, no sweetie, you can't carry a tray of shots across the bar with your roller skates on. I know it would be super cute and that really, really cute guy would like want to make out with you and, and, and, but uh, no. Please leave. Now. Your're not cute anymore.
Anyway, have fun. (and don't do drugs! It's not pretty)
On the knitting front....I'm going round and round and round on this alpaca sweater. Maybe before the games begin again tonight I'll get a bunch of rounds in!
More to come...
The weekend before Halloween. New York City. Chinatown. Former speakeasy now groovey lounge. Pouring rain. Steamy. Excellent music. Dark. Super packed. Right around midnight....
This is what I'm thinking from behind the bar...
Where in a girls mind is it ok to get completely trashed in an unflattering halloween costume and puke in public? In a bar. A very crowded bar? I mean while she was getting dressed up in her silly, unflattering get up did she think Wow, wouldn't it be fun, since I'm in costume, to get completely half cocked and puke in public tonight in front of all of my friends. Or was it more like Well at least no one will recognize me this time!
Girls, come on, this is the jungle...didn't you see Mean Girls? I mean this is not ok to do in public. You really won't get the guy. Plus what were you thinking wearing that ridiculous silver Hershey's Kiss get up. I mean, you definitely won't get the guy....FOR SURE. 100% GUARANTEED. It's cute on a 5 year old. Not on a 20 something. jeez.
Random thoughts in a sea of people:
When did 20 somethings start ordering vodka with water? oh, make that a double vodka with water. I mean, I'm really good at this bartending but wtf?? Can we spell r-e-t-a-r.....No can we spell AA? It felt like rehab gone bad last night!
Fellas, you're not off the hook....
I know, I know, you and your 3 friends are having a SUPER good time but instead of closing out your bill you order a bottle of red wine after the 3 bottles of champagne, 10 shots of patron, and a couple of g & t's to boot...a bottle of red wine? Really? hmmm. questionable choice. Oh and by the way, really nice hiding the teeth grinding. I never, ever would have pegged you to be the blow type. You may want to go to the dentist when you recover from last night. Hold on a word comes to mind PATHETIC!! and you weren't getting the Hershey's Kiss girl either...she was puking last time I checked. But man, how dehydrated were you? You were sucking down that water in record time. I'm just thinking like you may want to have a friend do a little documentary style video of you next time you go out. I'm not kidding...I'm totally serious. You looked f****d up. No, not in a good way. Like in a 28 days kind of way. And No the tip really has no bearing on how you looked. Actually that 30% tip made you look a little bit like a loser. Sorry.
Note to Halloween goers - don't paint your face green when you are going to a downtown bar that is really, really dark. HELLO, I CAN'T SEE YOU. and you look green. Next...who needs a shot!
If you haven't been on the cute team before... wear a great platinum blonde wig and dark clothes. Maybe some false eyelashes. Red lipstick. The guys have done so many shots that they have forgotten why everyone is dressed up and they just think you look hot. Strange, but it seems to work every time...
If you have been on the cute team your whole life...wear something hot and have a great time...you're gonna be a hit. Everyone is so uncomfortable and insecure about their dorky costumes that they will all gravitate toward you and bonus all the guys will be around you. JUST DON'T PUKE...
The busier I get the more time I have to let my mind wander about things... Like the girl with ROLLER SKATES on? ok. You lost me there. Rain= slippery floor, Crowded bar = no skating, Drinking massive quantities of lemondrop shots = very messy. Oh uh, no sweetie, you can't carry a tray of shots across the bar with your roller skates on. I know it would be super cute and that really, really cute guy would like want to make out with you and, and, and, but uh, no. Please leave. Now. Your're not cute anymore.
Anyway, have fun. (and don't do drugs! It's not pretty)
On the knitting front....I'm going round and round and round on this alpaca sweater. Maybe before the games begin again tonight I'll get a bunch of rounds in!
More to come...
posted by Heather at 1:02 PM
1 Comments:
What a CRAZY night....did you say puking? Know that's one of your favorite things of all time.......Did you bring out the HOSE!!!
Knitting like crazy I see.....very nice as usual. Beautiful yarn finds.
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