Got Gauge?

This is the second ripping. I cannot get gauge. I was trying to knit "looser". Not a good idea for me. I just knit along with my normal muscle memory and then realize that I haven't been knitting looser. So it looked like C R A P. It looked so bad there wasn't any blocking in the world that would have cleaned it up. I'm going to swatch again on yet a larger needle but the problem is that I'm knitting this cardi in one piece. So I end up with about 145 sts on the needle and I just get caught up in the mindlessness of the stockinette. I really don't want to seam pieces together because about in inch up from this photo I was going to start the fair isle and I can't deal with the figuring out the seaming and the patterns. So one piece it is. I might have to give this a break for today. I don't want to have bad feelings about this project!